Mama Rose’s

Mama Rose’s Pizza

40477 Murrieta Hot Springs Rd., Murrieta, CA 92563
(951) 677-7727
www.mamarosespizzeria.com

I do this sometimes, but it is in the best interest of our reader.  (purposely singular)
Don’t underestimate the value of setting the mood.
Please press play while you read this.

It’s rare that I eat a pizza that can alter the course of my future plans, but Mama Rose definitely did.  I am changing my evil plot to make the first man made completely out of pizza.  Instead, I am going to make a woman, and Mama Rose’s Pizza is going to supply the ingredients.

I can’t even TELL you how disgusted I am at the paragraph I just wrote, but it is true.  I love this pizza.  It may have taken the number one spot, for me.  The crust is like, “OHH”… and the sauce is like, “WOAH”…  and the cheese is like, “DUDE”…

It was thick, ( that’s what she said ) it held together well, it wasn’t greasy, it tasted exactly how a pizza should taste…  Why can’t there be more places like this?  If I ever figure out how to make a pizza in this category, I am going to post the recipe online for free.  Free, reusable energy?  Pfff…  This recipe would be my gift to humanity.

I want some more.  Right now.  NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW.  

I dare not make fun of this place, even though I’m sure that even if they spit in my pizza, it would improve it somehow.  Kudos, Mama Rose’s Pizza!  You rank first above all of the other mamas!

Officer Jeremy

There are signs in the back!

Just look at that pizza…..it tastes BETTER than it looks. This pizza was awesome. It was very crusty like I like it, it wasn’t overpowered by sauce…. it was just dang good! I know officer Jeremy hates to be confronted by friendly people, but at Mama Rose’s Pizza, they are super nice and friendly. Theres really not much more to say about this diamond in the rough. 

I give Mama Rose’s Pizza 4 stars. You must try this pizza, I promise you wont be disappointed! 

~ Officer Julie

Veneto’s

Venetos Pizza

608 N. Coast Hwy Oceanside, CA 92054

Quick!  Find a pizza!  

Why?

Because we have been at the beach all day and you can’t have a beach day without finishing it off with pizza!

Um, okay.
Talk about picking a pizza place out of a hat…  Officer Julie and I brought our cadets this time.  I should have made my son stand guard at the door since he is anti-pizza.  He’s anti-anything edible.  He’s even antipasto!  (baddum cha!)  Ahem…  Moving right along…

I will probably soon forget my experience at Venetos, all because it’s in the exact center of all of its competition.  If you were to count all of the pizza joints in California and divide it by 2, you would get Venetos overall rating.  There was nothing unique about it.  It wasn’t awful, and it wasn’t awesome.  In fact, it was kind of hard to remember, altogether.  I had to sharpie notes on my arm on the way home so I wouldn’t forget it, completely.  It was die-hard average pizza, overflowing with passion for mediocrity.  It was a middle-class poster child that is sure to appeal to your short-term memory.  It is invisible to opinion, extra extra medium in all aspects and downright generic-brand vanilla overall.  I hope I painted that one adequately, since that is all we are striving for, here.

Wait, what was I saying?  Oh, yeah…  Ve—…  v… um… [reads his arm]  VENETOS!  That’s right.  I am very sorry, but I even forgot to take a picture of the pizza.  It probably wouldn’t even show up on film, anyway.

If you are Indiana Jones, and you’re tired of all of the adventure in your life and need a break, Venetos is perfect for you.  Because there is none here.

Oh yeah, and my stomach made the plumbing sound, again.  

I was thinking about giving Venetos a fix-it ticket, but I don’t even remember where it was.  I remember nothing about it whatsoever, which is why my review is so short.

All hale the satisfactory!

Officer Jeremy

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…………Huh? What? Is it time to write the review? 

I have to agree with Jeremy on this one, this place was uneventful. We just ate there and I cant think of anything to say. The pizza was good, just good, maybe ok. It was overpriced. I think we paid about $55 for two large pizzas and 7 drinks.  

If you want to be bored with your meal and spend alot of money on just ok pizza, then you will be happy with Venetos. I give them 2 stars. Yawn.

~Officer Julie 

Pacino’s New York Pizzeria

Pacino’s New York Pizzeria
39112 Winchester Road
Murrieta, CA 92563-3512
(951) 677-6656

Woohoo!   We have ourselves a winner.  I have to admit, I had my hand on my gun as I walked in the place, but…. Woohoo!   I learned something.  Just because Al Pacino’s face is posted all over the place doesn’t mean it is owned and operated by the mob.   It’s a good thing too, because this pizza was really good.  I’d hate to think that just because I’m a pizza popo, I would have to shut the place down just because the owners kill people.  That wouldn’t seem right to me.  Not when the pizza is so good.  Back me up, here?

Okay, now that I said it was good, let me just say I was a little freaked out, too.  Have you ever been on the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland?  Do you remember those two heads that turn to stare at you as you walk by them?  Well I swear that’s what Al Pacino does to you in that place.  They are just movie posters, but dude!!  They stare at you… like you did something wrong… like you’re eating Al’s pizza and he’s pissed…  

The pizza is great, and the price is, too.  So, bottom line, go here!  Just don’t bring your kids. Okay, bring them but tell them ahead of time that Al is not going to beat their heads in with a baseball bat.  Or, you could not tell them and see how they react.   Maybe they’ll be too scared to eat, which means more pizza for you.

I was pleasantly surprised by Pacino’s. It turned out to be in my top 5 so far. The crust was pretty thick, ( not as thick as I would have liked ) but it was crunchy all the way through. I LOVE THAT! It tasted really good. It had the right amount of cheese and sauce. I was very happy with my meal. AND, it only cost $9.32 for a medium pizza and two drinks. GREAT price I must say.

Give Pacino’s a try. Bring the family…there are plenty of tables and even a bar to sit at. ( not an alcoholic bar, just a seating bar ). You wont be disappointed. Its easy on your tummy and easy on your wallet.

I give Pacino’s 3.5 stars.

~ Officer Julie

Rustico Ristorante Pizzeria

Rustico Ristorante Pizzeria
29940 Hunter Road # 102
Murrieta, CA 92563
(951) 698-5151

Oh yeah, Baby!  The web guy screwed up!  For those of you that subscribe to the Pizza PoPo, you probably got a couple emails from us with nothing but a couple of pictures in them.  That’s because I kicked into genius mode today and published a couple posts without actually writing anything in them.  My apologies go out to our four subscribers.  Without you, we wouldn’t be where we are today.  Ahem…

So, we decided to put Rustico in our sights this time.  I had cooled off since our encounter with Pizza Fusion, so I was ready to try something… ANYTHING good.  Rustico delivered.  No wait, they don’t deliver.  But they did deliver us a good lunch.  The place was clean, and kinda dark.  Lots of iron work and decorative grapes everywhere.  Hmm.  That sounded lame.  The truth is, it was a nice place but there wasn’t really anything that sticks out.  It was kind of another Olive Garden wannabe.

It was the first time I had ever had a concave pizza, though.  They served it in a bowl.  Wait.  They actually served the freaking thing AS a bowl.  I started looking for things to put IN the bowl.  Then it hit me.  Do you know how handy a pizza bowl would come in?  I could eat my cereal in a pizza bowl in the morning, then eat the bowl.  Then there would be no dishes to clean up.  Laugh if you want.  I’m on to something.

I can’t say this place was bad.  I just… can’t… get myself to say it was good, either.  There are plenty of pizzas in the sea, and the world is my oyster.  Or… something like that.  Anyway, I can’t wait to try out the next place.  I probably won’t remember Rustico much at all after tomorrow.

I think I liked Rustico Ristorante Pizzeria. It had a different taste to it….cant really describe it but the more I ate the more I liked it. Wasnt crazy about the crust though. It was too thin and kind of soggy towards the middle.

It had a warm feel as far as atmosphere….I dont know….the place just wasnt that memorable for me. Will I go back? If someone asked me if I wanted to go there I would. On my own, probably not.

Not much to say about this place….I give it 2.5 stars….it was good but just ok.

Officer Julie

Pizza Fusion

Pizza Fusion
40695 Winchester Road #C1
Temecula, CA 92591
(951) 506-8888

DISCLAIMER:  If you’re a vegan, health nut, or are even just trying to eat healthier, you should know that the prissies at Pizza Fusion have prissed me off beyond belief.  My opinion of this place is extremely one-sided and over-the-top, but honest.

We were on our regular patrols through the neighborhood and came across Pizza Fusion, today.  My first thought was, pizza is perfect.  Why would you want to fuse it with anything?  I was wondering if they stole my idea to genetically engineer the first pizza man, that is, a man made of pizza on a genetic level.  Don’t laugh.  I would totally volunteer to be a guinea pig for that  one.

I have an uncanny ability to scan instead of read.  I didn’t read the fine print.  It was “Pizza Fusion – Fresh, Organic and Earth  Friendly”.

Damn you.  Damn you all.

Our mission is to find the best pizza possible, not the pizza with the best message behind it.  If you have a hard time sleeping at night because normal pizza is “wrong” or “unhealthy” or whatever else the f*ck is floating around in your twisted little mind,  then don’t eat pizza.  It’s not for you.  Their web site says, “Saving the world one pizza at a time.”  DAMN YOU!  Pizza is not  destroying our ozone layer, causing war in the Middle East or polluting our oceans.  Pizzas are not possessed by the devil or causing any plagues.  Pizza is not a super villain, and you…  Pizza Fusion…  are in no way, shape or form, superheroes.  If  anything, pizza is promoting world peace.  Can you seriously not think of any bigger problems in your life?

Oh…  I’m taking them too seriously, aren’t I?  I’m being much too literal?  You’re one of them, aren’t you?  You’re in on it.   Back away, demon!  You will never convert me!   [HISS]

Enough?  Oh, no.  I’m just getting warmed up.

What is so freaking special about your pizza, anyway?  Is it free-range pizza?  Are you pizza rights activists or something?  All Pizza Fusion has done successfully is substituted everything that makes pizza good with things that make it taste and smell like belly button.

Look at this “pizza”.  It’s not even pepperoni.  It’s organic pepperoni, which is apparently short for “not pepperoni”.  What are  those things, anyway?  Suction cups off of a NERF basketball set?  Are they mini plungers?  Even if it tasted good, which it didn’t,  there is not enough of it on each piece.  It’s Pizza 101, people.  How many brain cells does it really take to not make it look  like an octopus made love to it?

One of the toppings was “vegan chicken”.  I was curious, so I asked what it was.  The waiter didn’t even know.  He said, “It’s a  bunch of soy products, all mixed up…  with seasonings…  and stuff.”  Are you people shitting me?   Do I go to Home Depot, buy some turkey seeds and plant a turkey tree?  No.  Would I ever dress a llama up like a yam?  No.  I don’t pretend meats are vegetables, so quit pretending like you’re fooling anyone by calling vegetables a meat.

My safety net for trying bad food has always been that I can wash it down with something that I know is not going to suck.  My drink of choice is Pepsi.  It’s my foundation.  It’s my lifeline.  If something tastes like poo, then I can wash it down with Pepsi.  Thanks a bunch, Pizza Fusion.  Not only do you have your own dark and delusional version of pizza, but you decided to make  your own soda, as well.  Officer Julie asked what kind of soda it was, because it tasted different.  (she was being nice)  Our  waiter said it was all-natural (which means it tasted like fart) soda, sweetened with raw sugar with less carbonation (which most  people call “flat”).  So, my crisis was nothing short of having to wash down poo with puke.

If you’re stuck in a world where you can’t eat anything that is not organic, then I pity you.  If even your pizza and soda is  fake, then it’s time for you to look inward and get some freaking help.  Find some real problems and solve them.  The world will actually thank you instead of laugh at you.

As for Pizza Fusion, I’m going to open up the world’s first all-natural butt store so Pizza Fusion can give me my money back and  eat my organic ass.

– Officer Jeremy

I do all the driving around here and have found most of the pizza places Jeremy and I have reviewed. So when Jeremy said he found one, I was pretty excited! I had never heard of  The Pizza Fusion and was anxious to try their pizza.

The fine print…….. The Pizza Fusion is an ORGANIC pizza place……..beware……….

We didn’t even realize this place was an organic food place until after we were seated and ordered our drinks. It was THEN that we noticed the fine print on the windows outside. I learned my lession. Don’t trust Jeremy.

For all of you that like to eat healthy, and like organic food, then you will like The Pizza Fusion. The salad had organic cucumbers and tomatos which were delicious. The pizza had a thin and crunchy crust and was “light”. Whatever that means. I think you will enjoy your meal. Try it!!!

And now for all the normal people that just want to shove pizza in their pie holes, the Pizza Fusion is NOT the place for you!!!

When you go to a restaurant and order your food, the first thing the waiter brings you is your drink, right? I don’t know about you, but I look forward to that Diet Coke arriving at my table, looking  so refreshing and all. That first long drag on that straw is the BEST! When our Pizza Fusion waiter brought me my diet coke today, my mouth was salivating as I put the straw to my little deer lips. ( My Cousin Vinny for those of you that didnt get that. )  You can imagine the anger that came over me when I realized I was drinking ORGANIC, all NATURAL soda. IT SUCKED! Did you even know that they made organic diet coke?  It tasted like poo. It was the WORST tasting soda I have ever had. It had less carbonation and made with raw sugar….and yet it still tasted like poo. Go figure. So right there my meal was ruined.

Then my salad came. I had just orderd the cheapest salad on the menu just to try it. I immediately got into the fetal position and started sucking my thumb as I cried, ” Find your happy place… find you happy….” It was a healthy organic salad for heaven’s sake!! ( Officer Jeremy is getting desk duty after suggesting this place ) I’m not sure, but I think the Arugula in the salad burned my throat. It is STILL burning as I write this review. No joke. The salad wasnt very good at all, even though I ate almost the whole thing. ( It wasn’t very big ) ( that’s what she said ) The Caesar didn’t taste like Caesar at all. I guess I just don’t get the whole organic thing.

I will say though, that the pizza was pretty good. It had mozzarella, provolone, and parmesan cheese, along with the organic pepperoni….which tasted like ham to me. I did like the thin crunchy crust but the pizza was almost too “cheesy” for me. Provolone isn’t one of my favorites…..but I managed to suffer through two big pieces of pizza.

I can’t really be too harsh on The Pizza Fusion….only because I didn’t know it was organic going in there. Had I known before hand, I wouldn’t even be writing this review. You CANNOT find the best tasting pizza in the world in an all organic restaurant. It’s just not going to happen.

The Pizza Fusion gets 1 star. They need to offer regular beverages as well as organic. You never know when The Pizza PoPo will visit. Because if you don’t have REGULAR diet Coke to serve Officer Julie, she will pull a Rodney King on the place.

~ Officer Julie

Haus of Pizza

Haus of Pizza
12912 Harbor Boulevard
Garden Grove, CA 92840-5809
(714) 636-0591

I currently have two kids, a little boy and a little girl.  If I had another kid, I would name it Haus of Pizza.  If Haus of Pizza were a woman, I would marry her… or at least try to pick her up….  maybe just wink at her.  Not sure, but she would definitely make a good meal.  Okay, this is getting totally retarded and awkward.

I was raised on this pizza.  I had it every Friday night with my family for about 15 years.  I also had it on the weekends every chance I got and for lunch a couple times during the week as well.  That went on from the time I was 10 years old, until I reached about 25.  I live friggin 75 miles away from it now, and sometimes I get the shakes from withdrawals.

In spite of the fact that it is an Italian restaurant with a German name, owned and operated by Asians, this place definitely is consistent with the food.  It is pure yummy goodness.  I’m not sure if they put crack in it, or what… but every time I have it, I need more.   And I feel like sprinting a marathon.  And I’m happy.  It is simply the best pizza on the face of the planet.  Um… so far, that is.

If you’re going to make the trip, don’t go to the one on Adams.  That one is not bad, by any means, but the one in Garden Grove on Harbor is SO much better.

I used to live in South Orange County, and I would make the 1.5 hour round trip just because it’s that good.  Very few things in life are worth driving across Orange County for, but…  this pizza…  no wait, I am not going to call this pizza anymore.  From how on, I am going to call this particular pizza “Geronimo”.  It’s what I say when I jump off a cliff, fall in love, and eat this pizza… which is all pretty much the same feeling to me.

Look at the picture.  Isn’t it beautiful?

Good work Haus of Pizza.  You’re my family… and, with the advances of genetic engineering and cloning, possibly even one day my wife.   Again, very awkward, I know…  but strangely true.

In case you haven’t figure it out, I love this pizza more than life itself.

 

“Oh honey”…….that’s what a family member used to say when she uncontrollably farted as she walked down the hall. So naturally, we adopted that phrase to mean “Oh my gosh/goodness”. I will say it again……”Oh honey.”  Haus of Pizza is my all-time favorite pizza. I have been going there since I was 15 years old….so about 5 years. 

If you like alot of crust, a good amount of sauce, and the PERFECT amount of cheese….then you must try Haus of Pizza. It truely is the best pizza Ive ever had. We treated ourselves on Friday to this wonderful pizza making establishment….I totally forgot just how amazing this pizza is. This was the first time Ive had it in about 6 years.

I could go on and on about this pizza,but you are going to have to try it yourself. The picture above should say it all…..”Oh honey.”

The service sucked this time……bad……but I dont care. The pizza put me in such a high euphoric state, I didnt even care that the waiter that we’ve known for 25 years totally ignored us. Didnt matter. The pizza was amazing.

I would like to have a moment of silence now for this heavenly pizza………

Thank you.

The Haus of Pizza is another reason why we decided to be The Pizza PoPo. We wanted to find the VERY best pizza we could find closer to our house. I honestly had no idea how hard it would be to match The Haus of Pizza. But it is. I give The Haus of Pizza 5 stars. Yes, 5 stars. You just cant get any better.  Its perfect.

Mama Colletti’s Chicago Italian

Mama Colletti’s Chicago Italian
39252 Winchester Rd #145
Murrieta, CA 92592
(951) 696-5252

 

 

Before you read this, let’s get in the mood a little bit.
(press play and read on)

Mama Colletti’s is the reason we started doing this.  This little hole in the wall is just a few miles from where we live.  I have been in this area for over a year now, and I had no idea this place was even there!  It was awesome.  The pizza was amazing, the atmosphere was clean and intimate, and the service was awesome.  We heard that they have an accordion player perform on Thursday nights.  How cool is that?  With any luck, this place will become so popular they’ll be bringing the accordion back.  It will be an integral part of every rock band.  In a few years, every home will have a copy of “Accordion Hero” on their PS3.  It will be beautiful.

Mama Colletti, herself, was in pictures on pretty much every wall.  The pictures were old, and I don’t know if she’s still with us but I believe she lives on in her pizza.  …  which I ate…  Wait, she was in the pizza I ate?  This is getting gross.

Some places we go to have an authentic feel, almost as if you could close your eyes and imagine you were in Italy.  They just have that essence to them, you know?   Well, I tried that at Mama Colletti’s last night.  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and tried to let the atmosphere take me to a different place…   I could feel my mind and soul being transported to a completely different setting.  I opened my eyes, and it was amazing.  It was like I was ACTUALLY in an Olive Garden.  I don’t know how they did it, but the ambiance was outstanding.

This might just be my new unwinding spot after a hard day of busting pizza offenders.  It’s a great place to unwind, relax, have a good conversation with someone you enjoy spending time with, and get spiritually transported to Olive Garden.  What more could you possibly ask for?  (aside from cutting the pizza in pie wedges, not squares)

Compared to everywhere else we have tried in this town, Mama Colletti’s gets the key to the city.  And if I ever bring a date here, I’m getting the spaghetti.  If it worked for Tramp, it can work for me.

– Officer Jeremy

I totally agree with Officer Jeremy on this one. ( What a shocker ) Mama Colletti’s is the reason why we decided to do this. I didnt even know this place was there until we passed it on our way to another pizza place in the shopping center. The second we walked in, we both had a good feeling. It was dimly lit and smelled SO good!!

I really have nothing bad to say about Mama Colletti’s. Its not a fancy place, but at the same time it has an intimate feel to it that could definitely put you in a romantic mood. Too bad I was with Jeremy.

The pizza was really good. Just the right amount of everything. It wasn’t too greasy. And guess what CiCi? It had sauce! Imagine that. We ordered a small pizza and it was the size of a medium everywhere else. The caesar salad I had was amazing. It had just the right amount of dressing on it. It also came with garlic toast that was thick and soft. ( get your minds out of the gutter )

The service was good, too. Our waiter was nice, a little on the quiet side, but kept our drinks full and was on top of things. ( perverts )

The best part about Mama Colletti’s? The price! We spent just under $20 for dinner, not including the tip, and we walked out of there stuffed with a doggy bag. Nice.

I highly recommend Mama Colletti’s Pizza. I give them 4 stars. Where else can you go for a romantic PIZZA dinner for under $20? Nowhere. You wont be disappointed! I can’t wait to go back on a Thursday night to see the accordion guy do his thing! When we do, we will post pictures, so check back!!

Red Tomato Pizza

The Red Tomato Pizza
39040 Sky Canyon Dr # 108
Murrieta, CA 92563-3515
(951) 600-9101

Red Tomato Pizza is a little pizza place tucked behind an Albertsons shopping center. Not a good location at all. But oh what a find!! Their price for pizza is the same as Little Caesars but the pizza is much better….in my opinion of course. I love their pizza, actually. It has the perfect amount of sauce ( are you listening CiCi? ) and the crust is great!

I encourage all of you to try this wonderful little surprise behind the shopping center at Murrieta Hot Springs Rd and Winchester in Murrieta. It is take out only but totally worth it for the price!

~Officer Julie

The Red Tomato.  I love The Red Tomato.  Not in a relationship kind of way, but more like a prison sort of way.  The name?  The name, right.   It’s a lot redundant.  It’s a bit like saying the bright sun, or the cheesy romance novel.  We know the sun is bright, so why say it?  We know romance novels are cheesier than CiCi’s pizza, so why say it?  I know there are different color tomatoes, but c’mon… we know you use the red ones.  I would be happier if they just called it The Tomato, but…  I guess I’ll cope.

One last note, the people there are nice.  I think it’s one big family, but everyone there is just very nice.  Did I mention they are nice?  I really don’t have anything else to say about this place.  It’s a fantastic alternative to Little Caesar’s for those  of you that are looking to feed a family of 20 on a dime.

Check it out.  It won’t let you down.

– Officer Jeremy

CiCi’s Pizza

CiCi’s Pizza
29910 Murrieta Hot Springs Road

Murrieta, CA 92563

Ok, here’s the deal. Jeremy and I decided when we first created this blog that we weren’t going to do reviews on commercial pizza places like Little Caesars, Pizza Hut, etc. Everyone and their mother has had pizza from these places and we wanted to be different. We are looking for the best pizza places that no one has heard of. The best kept secret kind of thing. We heard CiCi’s was good, but had to have a staff meeting to try and decide if we wanted to try it or not. I had no idea what to expect going into this place. Jeremy said it was a commercial joint. After fighting about it for an hour, we ended up at CiCi’s Pizza.

I HATED CICI’S PIZZA. I would have arrested all 20 employees that were working there if I had brought enough handcuffs. They pissed me off the second I walked in the door. Not knowing anything about the place, I had no idea what was about to happen. When it was my turn to order, I simply said, ” I would like to order a large pepperoni pizza and two drinks, please.” Apparently, that wasnt on the menu. The girl taking my order just looked at me like I was an idiot. ( she got a ticket for that ) She then proceeded to tell me that they don’t just “make” large pizzas and that I would need to walk around the corner and asked for a special order. WTF? Was I not at a pizza place? Since when is ordering a pepperoni pizza a special order???  I was so confused. As I’m holding up the line trying to figure out what the heck was going on, and having to play 20 questions with the maroon behind the counter, I finally “learned” that the only thing they sold was the all-you-can-eat buffet. If we wanted to eat there, we HAD to have the buffet. We couldn’t just order a pizza and go sit down. THAT MADE ME MAD. I didn’t want a pizza buffet. We should have just walked out at that point, but we are gluttons for punishment I guess.

The salad bar consisted of lettuce, salad dressing and croutons. That’s it. Having a salad bar in her restaurant obviously wasn’t on the top of CiCi’s priority list. Shame on you CiCi. I hate you.

Did I mention that I hated CiCi’s Pizza?

Oh, but wait! It gets better!! I get to the buffet of pizza and I put a slice of pepperoni pizza on my plate along with a breadstick. I get back to the table, still pissed off that I was forced to order something that I didn’t want, and proceeded to eat my food.  As I was eating my salad, I looked across the table at Jeremy and he looked confused. It’s not unusual for Jeremy to look confused, but I felt compelled to ask him what was wrong.  He was trying to figure out what was different about the pizza. Then it hit him. The fricken pizza had no sauce! NO SAUCE. Not a drop. Nothing. Dry as a turd in the yard on a hot summer day. Nada. Seriously CiCi? I think CiCi is a close relative of Helen Keller. NO SAUCE? It was cheese and crust. To be fair, it wasn’t the WORST pizza I have ever had, it was better than Chicago’s Pizza Co. but NO sauce? Needless to say, I was very disappointed with CiCi’s. Even the breadstick sucked….how can you screw up a breadstick? I dont know people…..YUCKY POO POO.

As the old wise man once said, you get what you pay for so don’t go to CiCi’s Pizza. It SUCKED. It’s very cheap but I would rather go to Little Caesars than go back there.

I give CiCi’s pizza -1 star. The only thing I liked about that place was my diet coke. Thanks COKE for not letting me down LIKE CICI DID. The girl behind the counter is getting 3 life sentences….one for making me order something I didn’t want, one for  just working there, and one for disrespecting an officer of the law by looking at me like I was stupid. CiCi herself gets 21 life sentences until she gets a clue….I will reduce her sentence only if she puts more than just lettuce in her salad bar and realizes that a sauceless pizza shouldnt exist.

~Officer Julie

What do you get when you cross a Pikachu with a pizza?  A Pizzachu…  only this particular pizza wasn’t easy to chew at all.  I don’t think I hated it nearly as much as Officer Julie, but that is because I have a special place in my heart for AM/PM quality food.  I’m actually surprised CiCi’s didn’t serve Slurpees, Tornadoes and Jalepeno hotdogs in a semi-warm hot-box next to their buffet bar.

It was cheap.  Cheap cheap cheap cheap cheap pizza.  Little Caesar probably goes to CiCi’s to save money.  I’m not sure any of the ingredients were real, except for maybe whatever chemical they used to make it smell like Ben Gay.  No, it didn’t smell that bad.  At least I don’t think so.  The whole experience was kind of a blur, probably because I was so annoyed by the fact that I was eating food that came from underneath a sneeze guard. (Thanks, MP)  Buffets are ev-il.  Twisted and ev-il.  Ev-il like the dev-il.  In fact, even though I didn’t hate CiCi’s, I still need to acknowledge it’s dark and twisted nature with a new name.  From here on out, it shall be known as Darth CiCi’s.

It was also pretty dry.  Oh yeah, there was no sauce.   Even the pizza that had some sauce on it was pretty dry.  It was almost like it was old, only there were tons of people there, and they had just put it out.  Is it possible to make old pizza fresh from the oven?  It was so dry, I needed Darth CiCi to use the Force on my throat.  But the Force was definitely not strong with this one.  It just kind of sat there in my windpipe for a few hours.

Ask me if I’ll go back.  Go on, ask me!   Yes, I probably will.  But not because it was good.  It wasn’t.  I would go back because I enjoy seeing Officer Julie get all ruffled.  It’s a brother thing.

– Officer Jeremy

The Big Cheese Pizza Co.

The Big Cheese Pizza Co.
41080 California Oaks Road
Murrieta, CA 92562
951-304-9997

You know what annoys me even more than the entire “Teen Paranormal Romance” section at Barnes and Noble? I’m starting to resent all of the “Pizza Co.”‘s around.  It’s becoming a fad to name your pizza joint a “pizza co”, and we all know how Officer Jeremy gets cranky when fads are passed around too freely.  Try to be different, people.  Think of something else.  Let’s try not to make this another “Got Milk?” fad that, no matter how many times I cry when I read a new variation of it, still manages to linger on every other street corner for every industry ever known to man.  If you’re a plumber, your truck doesn’t need to say “Got plumbing?” on it.  If you’re a teacher, you don’t need to rush out and buy a bumper sticker that says, “Got School?”.   If you’re a carny, you probably won’t have a bumper sticker on your car, because the odds are you can’t read.  But, everyone around you will no doubt be thinking, “Got Teeth?”   It’s become human nature to copy retardation and I’m sick of it.  So people, please…  take a look around you, quit copying everyone else, and take an extra five minutes and think of something new.  The whole “Pizza Co.” thing is oozing “bleh”, so before you attempt to fool yourself into thinking everyone is going to think it’s cute, just ask yourself one question.  “Got Originality?”

The Big Cheese Pizza Co. brought back some scary memories from the past.  It reminded me a lot of Chuck E. Cheese when we walked in.  It’s a really simple math equation, actually, although it took me years to understand.

(Chuck E. Cheese  x  Underaged Chefs) + Jeremy = Toilet

So, I already had a preconceived notion that The Big Cheese was going to give me “The Big Quease” within the hour just from the vibe I got walking in, but I was pleasantly surprised.  I guess from there, there was nowhere to go but up.

The pizza was thicker than I thought it was going to be.  There was almost no sauce, which to me, is most of what you taste on a pizza.  So why skimp out on it?

The staff?  I’m glad you asked.  All of the waitresses were teeny tiny little girls that I bet would all fit in a shoe box.  Okay, I am exaggerating because I thought one of them was older than she was.  I’m horrible at that.  Oy.  No, I didn’t try to pick her up.  Jeez, I’m an officer of the law of pizza.  Give me some credit, will you?

The manager was a dude.   I state it plainly because…  he was.  There is no doubt in my mind that it was a man.  I’m sure of it.  I’m almost sure of it.  I’m pretty sure it was a man.  There is definitely, no doubt in mind, that I am 100% sure, that there is at least a small chance the manager was a woman.  I need to go back to confirm.

Overall, I would say that place wasn’t bad.   If you have kids, there is a games section to keep them busy. It’s a good place to watch sports.  If you like TV’s, this place was like a Best Buy.  If you like pizza that will surprise you on how good it was, you’ll like it here.  If you like under-aged girls and can get passed the womanager, I think you’ll find it a second home.

“Got Moobs?”

The salad bar was very “cheesy”. NOT worth the money. This picture is of the WHOLE salad bar.

Aw, this must me The Little Cheese. ( hahaha THE LITTLE CHEESE…)

I liked this place. I would definitely go back again. The pizza was pretty good. The crust was thick all the way through which I liked. For about $40, we fed all 6 of us. Not bad. Plus the kids had fun in the play area. It does have a Chunkie Cheese feel to it though, ( not a typo ) which I didn’t like, but overall it was a fun place to go. The salad bar was very small. I wouldn’t recommend it if you like a lot of variety….it had none.

The only thing I had a problem with, besides the salad bar, was the hot 18 year old chicks EVERYWHERE.  Jeremy didnt seem to mind much, but I didn’t appreciate the competition.

I gave The Big Cheese 3.5 stars. I don’t like Chuck E. Cheese for a reason, so I docked them for making me feel like I was in one. And I am definitely giving them a citation for having ONLY cute girls working there. Where were all the hot 18 year old guys you Big Cheese?

~ Officer Julie